As long as I continue to be embarrassingly asked for my id at drinking establishments, (which I hope lasts at least twice as long as I’ve been alive so far,) I don’t want to be considered a reeaaalll adult, but since I’ve technically been able to smoke cigarettes, I’ve learned a couple of things:

- Sometimes when a guy isn’t madly in love with you, it means that he isn’t smart enough to appreciate you for all of the wonderfulness you are.  Right?

- Honesty (with a dash of tact) makes you sleep better and feel better and generally be better.

- Everyone has kind of a screwy view on sex.

- Girlfriends are really nice.  I know it is hard to except someone who isn’t shaggy-the-dog style obsessed with you - but that doesn’t mean you’re not loved. That doesn’t mean they won’t be there when you need a bloody and a compadre while you do the stare-into-space routine.  And then someday, you realize that hanging with them is a choice you choose more frequently.

- Your parents, your siblings, a lot of your ex-boyfriends, etc. were all really wonderful.  Someday you’ll be really grateful to have them in your life in spite of times you appreciated them as much as the whitehead on your left shoulder. Perspective.  It’s a thank-God-for-in-order-to-survive-as-an-adult thing.

- Older means either going down this smarter, wiser path or going down this entitled, indifferent path - either way a continuation of whatever you did or did not come to terms with. Do not equate age with Robert Redford’s Brad Pitt-edness.

- Forgiving yourself is a necessary and monumentally crucial part of life, especially if you make as many mistakes as me (and if you don’t, consider being braver).   Someday when buses mean means to ending the bug zapper effect your head has taken on, you’ll be forced to drop the “ers” (better, prettier, smarter, fatter, skinnier, lesser, etc) and just be a little or a lot of whatever you choose.

- Good eye contact is paramount (in the kind of crazy, but key way).

- You’ll be invited to/involved in enough super cool things to realize hanging by yourself a night or two a week is nice.  Frequently preferable.

- Exactly how you were when you were (in my case) 7 and picking fights with random strangers (in the mind-f’ing way since I was always a bit of a midge, albeit a surprisingly strong one), will be exactly how you always will be.

- Caring what people think of you is for the insecure.  Care enough to be able to look in the mirror with a half smile and say, “damn, girl” and be wholeheartedly devoted to being your best. But if X and T and Y and even J doesn’t get it, fuck ‘em or, better, love ‘em and be ok with yourself.

- Say I love you. Hug people. Smile. Unabashedly.

- Know your ego like you know your bad side and choose otherwise.  Jealousy, fear, pride, etc. - they are all choices, really hard choices to make. But there’s something to be said for at least knowing it’s a choice.

- Tomorrow comes and goes kinda like 10 years from now, so consider the 10 years from now occasionally, so it comes and goes and you’re happy.

There’s more of course but I’m not old or wise enough to ignore the social media bombardment that I’ve incurred while composing this post.