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Had the pleasure of seeing my family for a whopping two seconds this weekend.
I must say, this was the hardest trip back to new york that I’ve made yet. I just miss these guys a lot.
Hi, from the hospital. Where you get awesome bracelets in exchange for having your heart x-rayed.
Let me tell you - it’s shit or honey, folks.
“No worse fate can befall a young man or woman than becoming prematurely entrenched in prudence and negation.” — Knut Hamsun
I’d been hearing about asian me for awhile (at Ippudo, where the pork buns reign supreme) and then, I met her. And we look alike, guys.
“So I planned to stop seeing Ben. But before I did, I told him to come over. Do you know why? Because my vagina is an idiot.” —
Dude, this book is good - I’m not even embarrassed to pull the pink and red, heart-emblazoned book with the title, “I Don’t Care About Your Band: What I Learned from Indie Rockers, Trust Funders, Pornographers, Felons, Faux Sensitive Hipsters, and Other Guys I’ve Dated,” out in public anymore. It’s want-to-be-her-friend good.
As long as I continue to be embarrassingly asked for my id at drinking establishments, (which I hope lasts at least twice as long as I’ve been alive so far,) I don’t want to be considered a reeaaalll adult, but since I’ve technically been able to smoke cigarettes, I’ve learned a couple of things:
- Sometimes when a guy isn’t madly in love with you, it means that he isn’t smart enough to appreciate you for all of the wonderfulness you are. Right?
- Honesty (with a dash of tact) makes you sleep better and feel better and generally be better.
- Everyone has kind of a screwy view on sex.
- Girlfriends are really nice. I know it is hard to except someone who isn’t shaggy-the-dog style obsessed with you - but that doesn’t mean you’re not loved. That doesn’t mean they won’t be there when you need a bloody and a compadre while you do the stare-into-space routine. And then someday, you realize that hanging with them is a choice you choose more frequently.
- Your parents, your siblings, a lot of your ex-boyfriends, etc. were all really wonderful. Someday you’ll be really grateful to have them in your life in spite of times you appreciated them as much as the whitehead on your left shoulder. Perspective. It’s a thank-God-for-in-order-to-survive-as-an-adult thing.
- Older means either going down this smarter, wiser path or going down this entitled, indifferent path - either way a continuation of whatever you did or did not come to terms with. Do not equate age with Robert Redford’s Brad Pitt-edness.
- Forgiving yourself is a necessary and monumentally crucial part of life, especially if you make as many mistakes as me (and if you don’t, consider being braver). Someday when buses mean means to ending the bug zapper effect your head has taken on, you’ll be forced to drop the “ers” (better, prettier, smarter, fatter, skinnier, lesser, etc) and just be a little or a lot of whatever you choose.
- Good eye contact is paramount (in the kind of crazy, but key way).
- You’ll be invited to/involved in enough super cool things to realize hanging by yourself a night or two a week is nice. Frequently preferable.
- Exactly how you were when you were (in my case) 7 and picking fights with random strangers (in the mind-f’ing way since I was always a bit of a midge, albeit a surprisingly strong one), will be exactly how you always will be.
- Caring what people think of you is for the insecure. Care enough to be able to look in the mirror with a half smile and say, “damn, girl” and be wholeheartedly devoted to being your best. But if X and T and Y and even J doesn’t get it, fuck ‘em or, better, love ‘em and be ok with yourself.
- Say I love you. Hug people. Smile. Unabashedly.
- Know your ego like you know your bad side and choose otherwise. Jealousy, fear, pride, etc. - they are all choices, really hard choices to make. But there’s something to be said for at least knowing it’s a choice.
- Tomorrow comes and goes kinda like 10 years from now, so consider the 10 years from now occasionally, so it comes and goes and you’re happy.
There’s more of course but I’m not old or wise enough to ignore the social media bombardment that I’ve incurred while composing this post.
We’ll call this one: self-photoshoots/ running so late that you shamelessly wear hot rollers in public.
My friend is such a babe. And kinda the raddest chick in town. When I shut my eyes and think of Cary this is kind of how I imagine her.
Bravo, Mr. Benjamin Spell, and keep snapping!
Last year’s Superbowl. It may not surprise you to learn that I tried to orchestrate this pyramid so that I would be on the very top, but this was the best they could do. Losers.
I may be good luck in the garden. I’ve never seen the knicks or rangers lose live. #playoffsdate